perhaps

there were more things i should have done
such as going to more dinners with you
even though at times i felt awkward
here i was this nerdy looking girl
in front of these African Queens
i hate having to make small talk with people
who in all honestly don't seem that friendly
and maybe they are and its just me
the usual anti-social kid
i kinda hate always having to say no to stuff
but how could i go and smile a fake smile
and act all friendly
but maybe i should have sucked it up
and warmed up to them
just for you
just because you would have wanted me to be there
so that instead i would be with you smiling and laughing with you
and having you hold my hand
when you knew i was nervous
because you had your friends
and you always love being around them
especially having them all meet your new girlfriend
but i didn't want to be some trophy
but at the same time i wanted to be there with you
so they wouldn't have to ask for me...