text messages

so you ask me whether i'm still mad. what kind of fucking question is that?
Being mad would mean admitting that in some or another you have dissapointed me.

that in some way or another you have meant more to me than you imagine.
that some how you have hurt me.
that i've built up a notion of what our togetherness would mean.

i plead the fifth to all of the above. i'm not angry, i am just over it.
i can't keep thinking that these small steps forward we make compensate for the way
we truly remain in a stationary position.

i dont think we need to have any conversation because everything has been said that was needed to determine an 'us'.

which is something that is fragmented and only exists in theory. i keep playing this stupid game with you. in which we both push and pull each other away.


and i'm tired. what you offer me are fragments and i am not a fragment of a woman, therefore i dont need it. i dont necessarily want to settle down, but why waste time?

i have found that you are not entirely a lover and not yet quite a friend. your kisses are the sweetest thing, but they are poison to me. i resolve to do away from something deceitful. your touch although comforting only pacifies me...

i resolve to do away with these temptations.
because this is obvious and it was expected. i'd already been warned but choose to not heed any advice. but i'm tired and i just want to be able to look at you and see you for who you are.

and you've been clear about your inability to commit. so let me be clear about who i am...i am dahiana and i have learned enough to know that this isnt for me.

your offer me parts and pieces of what i seek, and as long as i settle for that, i will never find it in its entirety.

i would do better to focus on what is attainable at the moment, and keep myself focused on my north point.

no hard feelings and im sure you understand where im coming from. were adults and im sure we know how to maintain amicable relationships, good night!